Loretta L.C. Brady, Ph.D., APA-CP
Associate Professor, Saint Anselm College
I was a 21 year old first generation minority McNair fellow when my mentor told me about her Fulbright to the Netherlands, and I learned that one could travel, do research, and build career-long international connections, all while being paid! I set my sights on securing one, someday, and tucked the idea away.
By the time it was right in my career for me to pursue a Fulbright I was a married, mortgage-laden, pet- owning mother of five with more than only myself to consider as I perused the Fulbright Award Catalog. I searched for opportunities a year before applying, and it was about two years between looking at awards for 2012 and arriving in Cyprus with my husband, children, and a family friend who was traveling with us to help with the kids. During our semester in Cyprus I traveled to Israel, Egypt (with my three oldest children), Greece, and London (on our way back to the United States, thanks to a well-coordinated layover). We toured all over Cyprus and our kids collected Turkish and Egyptian lira, Israeli shekels, euros, and British pounds. Some people thought traveling with five children under seven would be a disaster, but we found it a rewarding and enriching experience. Maybe some of these tips will help your big family make a Fulbright work, too.
Parents with large families will need to prepare not only their scholarship materials but their family’s schooling, recreation, and community materials. Create organized files related to those needs while you are putting your application together. We had a Cyprus folder that included my proposals, contacts I was making for my work, and files related to schooling options, housing options, and community resources (pediatricians, uniform retailers, parks and playgrounds). Any time one of us came across something that might prove handy at a later date, it was added to the folder for easy reference later. We didn’t have all the details ironed out before hitting “submit” but we had enough pieced together that we could wrap our heads around the first steps should my application be selected.
While you will need to inquire about research support and student learning styles, parents of large families will also do well to ask specific questions about what your family is likely to encounter while in country. Program officers may know a lot about the community, but they generally only tell you what you have asked them. Share that you have a large family and ask them about what they think local reaction would be, logistics that would be required, and whether the budget you have available is likely to work for so many mouths once you arrive. If you connect with prior scholars, ask whether they traveled with family and how they found the experience to be.
Consider needs, diet, and infrastructure
While you need to select a country that works professionally for you, pay attention to information about the country’s climate, infrastructure, diet, population, and education system. This information is often available in various expat forums online and reviewing these will help you get a sense of whether the target country is a good fit for your family.
It is easy to get so swept up in big picture things like host institution and kids’ schooling that you forget details like transportation and whether or not cars exist that suit your family size. Most European countries, for instance, have smaller cars than in the U.S. and asking around to various rental agents is wise.
Budget for the unexpected
An education credit may seem generous until you realize it is only going to cover a portion of what would normally be a school day and that on top of tuition you will need to pay uniform and activities fees. Reserving at least 10% of your funds for these unlisted expenses can help a great deal.
While it may seem premature to have regular communication with folks before you learn of whether you have a Fulbright award, it is wise to send messages every few months to touch base, wish a happy holiday, or share a thought or idea. Being personally connected will make all the difference for what housing and transportation options you end up having access to, so don’t be shy even if you can’t be sure you will get there this year. We had communicated with so many people so often before our departure date that we threw a party our first weekend in Cyprus and invited everyone we had corresponded with along the way, as well as other Fulbrighters in the area. Most everyone we invited came and it served to make us feel connected to our new community right away.
Tell your story
We found that people were often excited to hear about our situation and often gracious with suggestions or leads. If I had not shared our interest in renting a village home with a colleague, we never would have had the opportunity to live in an idyllic Cypriot village and would instead have likely ended up in what would have been a cramped apartment too small for our needs in center city Nicosia. Americans can be very self-reliant, but it is okay to share what your needs might be.
Be gracious and curious
When we would encounter new friends we would ask about them, their work, and their families. This often opened up connections that brought us a chance to host other large families that we met. Often it is only large families that are brave enough to invite you over!
Hold onto routines and traditions
Dealing with homesickness can be a challenge. Having some consistency with your kids (bedtime stories, dinner, family meetings), even in a new environment, can help them feel grounded despite the disruption.
Create a countdown
Our children really benefitted from a calendar they created before we left and then again about half-way through our trip. It included major holidays and family events along with dates that we would travel. When they needed some reassurance that they would be traveling they were able to refer to it easily and mark off days as we got closer.
Give kids decision making authority
Whether it was in picking which Lego pieces would travel, which friends we would visit, or which items needed to come back home, giving kids some decisions that they get to make for themselves or the family goes a long way to making them a bit more cooperative even in the face of change.
Introduce new foods in familiar contexts
We learned a few recipes before we left and made a point to visit some Greek festivals to expose kids to tastes they would encounter. Don’t be put off if they hate the foods you try; exposure is the key to developing a taste for new flavors. Getting a few tastes in from home base will help them once you arrive.
Delegate (busy boxes) and Diversify (suitcase contents)
Easily the worst part of traveling with young children is the airport experience and the close, not-always-quiet, quarters of the plane. Packing lunch boxes with quiet but engaging activities, stickers, and snacks can save you some sanity en route. Airlines are bound to misplace at least one piece of luggage when traveling with such a large party, so be sure to put a change of clothes for each person in a carry-on. You might also want to mix and match items in each case so if a bag does get misplaced everyone is equally affected instead of only one person being on the hook.
Get guidebooks early
Leaving home is such an abstract idea that having something tangible that represents your new location can help kids start talking and preparing. Our kids created maps, charted all the locations they wanted to see, and learned about fun facts in a way that got them excited.
Use bedtime stories to share and prepare
When we arrived we lucked upon a locally written book about our village. I would read up about it during the evening and the next night that would become part of our bedtime story. When we took walks or saw something the kids could talk about the story and it helped them develop knowledge about their new home quickly.